- Anonymous

"Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake".

- Robert Frost

"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty".

- Hugh Elliott

"Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass thats somehow connected to birth".

- Anonymous

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs".

- John Herschel Glenn, Jr.

"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday".

- Robert Frost

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age".

- Robert Orben

"The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet".

- Arthur Schopenhauer

"The first forty years of life give us the text: the next thirty supply the commentary".

- Sam Ewing

"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."

- Pete Rose

"I've never looked forward to a birthday like I'm looking forward to my new daughter's birthday, because two days after that is when I can apply for reinstatement".