| |
'''I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?'' By George Carlin, US comedian and actor (1937 - ) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.'' By Robert Frost, US poet (1874 - 1963) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.'' By Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 - 1956) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.'' By Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 - 1956) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.'' By Fred Allen, US radio comedian (1894 - 1956) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Anyone who says businessmen deal in facts, not fiction, has never read old five-year projections.'' By Malcom Forbes |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.'' By Emo Phillips, US comedian |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.'' By Elbert Hubbard, US author (1856 - 1915) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Eighty percent of success is showing up.'' By Woody Allen, US movie actor, comedian, & director (1935 - ) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Fine art and pizza delivery, what we do falls neatly in between!'' By David Letterman, US comedian & television host (1947 - ) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.'' By John Cleese, English actor & comedian (1939 - ) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.'' By Bruce Grocott, British politician (1940 - ) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.'' By Unknown |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.'' By George Burns, US actor & comedian (1896 - 1996) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Van Gogh became a painter because he had no ear for music.'' By Nikki Harris |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.'' By Hermann Hesse, Swiss (German-born) author (1877 - 1962) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
| |
''Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?'' By George Carlin, US comedian and actor (1937 - ) |
|
| |
| |
|
|
